pOOr thOughts

Well, right now, the moon yielded to the rising ball of fire. Roosters are alternately responding to their music. Yet, I'm still trap in this artificially aired (is there such a description?) and well lighted room. My eyes are soring. My back is also aching. They need rest but they can't until I get my ass off here. Boredom is hugging me, and devouring my sanity. No music. Just the sound of keyboard while I'm typing. This ain't a music room but a workplace so I should not babble anymore. It won't take long anyway and I can still carry on. This is my life during weekend. It's not hell, but it's definitely not heaven.

Hours from now, I would have to get few hours of sleep. Perhaps, four or five hours would be enough. I need to rise up and perform my obligations. I don't need procrastination - no, not this time. There's just too many tasks I need to be doing, especially in the publication. Editing for the weekly paper, writing articles for the magazines, blah blah blah. I hope nothing would get in the way that would disrupt my attention, else, I would waste time again. This is my life as a student journalist. Tiresome, tedious and exhausting but I'm loving it. It's giving me life. A life I have been proudly living.

Well, the light outside is creeping faster. But, whatever happened to the roosters, I ain't hearing them anymore. I think I have nothing else to say. I'm still bored though so I'm a have to stretch for a while. Good mornight blogosphere!

Today is the 9th day of September 2009. So we would have 09/09/09. So what?
Well, aside from the fact that this perfect date would not happen again, there is nothing more about this post. I just have this observation I want to share.

If we have been keeping ourselves abreast with current events lately, you can easily relate to this post. First, prior to this date, the ill-fated Superferry 9 sank at the seas of Zamboanga. Aboard the ship were more than 9 hundred passengers including children and senior citizens. Although most of them survived the incident, according to reports, there were 9 reported deaths among all the passengers.

So what am I trying to say here? Honestly, I also can't tell. I just can't set aside the number nine above all these. Well i just hope everything was a mere coincidence.

Whoa...
Guess whAt?
After almost six months of lying low...
I can't believe I'm here again...
I mean I got the job again...
Never mind the stress and sleepless nights...
Like they said, no pain no gain.

Well that's it!
This post is completely meatless (is there such a term //_' ?)
I just wanna tell you that I'm back taking calls again.
The night is still long.
I have to bear this drowsiness I'm feeling until nine.
That's fine with me.

Good Morning bloggers!

I thought I had changed for the better
But it was a wishful thinking

All this time I thought I am--changed
But people don't believe
Rather, they dissuade me from continued believing

I thought I would be vindicated
But what a fool of me
Man, 'twas a make believe

I acted as if I could cope up,
as if I was getting there--slowly at least
But they are reluctant,
they bar me

What an idiot of me to assume
That wounds were healed
and gaps were bridged
When all this time,
They keep the wounds fresh
And the distance perpetual

Then out of failure I asked myself
How can we all move on?
Or how can we even grow?
When people won't allow you!

If it is your job to make people laugh
You don't expect them to do just the same for you

For they expect you to entertain them
They don't care who entertains you when you're down

If it is your business to make them happy
You don't have to right to be melancholic

For they expect you to be strong always
Even if you can never be any stronger

If people want you to ease their problems
You'll have to rise from the sickbed and serve them

For they won't care if you're dying
Just set aside yourself and serve them, JUST THEM!

When you are a funnyman
You have to be funny all the time

For you can never entertain people when you cry
Or, perhaps they'll still laugh at you insensibly

People love you when you crack a joke
They don't mind you when you drop a tear

So you'll have to wear a facade sometimes
Or become the other person oftentimes

In a world where people see you ONLY as a CLOWN
They won't make notice of you however you're hurting

For they only befriend you for the smiles
But they haven't really known you at all

That is your life...
So...?
Who cares?
Anyone?

Just don't bother yourself my dear
It's all for the laughs cant' you see?

In fact, ever since the news about her demise broke out, I was one with the whole nation who quickly said their massive prayers for her soul. I, together with all the members of our student publication, even wore yellow shirts to show our sympathy and love for Tita Cory.

And speaking of love, hundreds of thousands of people yesterday filled the streets where the convoy of Cory passed, to show their love and respect for her—forming a sea of crowd in yellow that was only seen in the funeral of our national hero Ninoy almost three decades ago. People in all walks of life poured out in the streets and battled the rain only to see our beloved president for the last time. Many of them flashed the “laban” sign while shouting Cory’s name.

It was a moving scenario not only to the immediate family of Tita Cory but for all the Filipinos as well. Our former president’s children even claimed that the crowd yesterday was even larger than her father’s funeral—that even excludes the rest of the Filipinos across the globe that were glued to their TV or radio to keep abreast with the funeral rites.

Truly, the yesterday’s scenario was similar to that of Ninoy’s funeral which has drawn millions. In 1983, people hit the streets to show their sympathy for Ninoy along with the hope that the country could move from the dark days of the Marcos regime. Yesterday, however, people from all walks of life—men, women, old, young, children, politicians, churchmen, soldiers, rich, laymen, etc. went to the streets to show their love for Cory. No more expectations, just love. Not asking anything in return, just love. And nothing but their overflowing love to the 1986 Time Magazine’s Woman of the Year who restored our democracy.

May this scenario serve as an eye-opener to us all, most importantly, to politicians to serve the people first before serving their own interest.

As I woke up this morning, I was shocked by my classmate's text message saying Former President Cory Aquino finally joined our Creator in heaven.

For how many days now, prank text messages about Cory's death has been inconsiderately circulated so I did not believed the text message I received right away. In fact, I was still unconvinced as I wrote this post. But after reading this reports from the internet and seeing the full blown coverage of her death in national television, it was really over for our beloved Cory.

One with all the nation who are grieving for her demise, I'm extending my heartfelt condolences to the bereaved family of Tita Cory. Even to the whole nation, aside from Tita Cory's immediate family. As someone who restored the democracy of this country, Cory was well loved by us Filipinos. Her death is something that would not only grieve a family or two but the entire nation. Truly, our country has lost its mother. And this is not going to be easy for us all.

As a blogger, I am appealing to my fellow bloggers to pray for the soul of our kind mother., although rest assured that wherever she is right now, she's at ease with our Father. Goodbye our dearest President Cory and thank you for everything. We love you and you will always be remembered in our brains and in our hearts.

It was one rainy afternoon, I went out of the premises of the school to meet my sister. We’re supposed to have a rendezvous at five p.m. but at 5:30, she informed me thru text message that she can’t make it on time and that we’ll only meet at six. Since I had nothing else to do and I was tired that time to go back to the office, I decided to sojourn at the Ninoy Aquino Freedom Park. After all, thirty minutes isn’t that long.

As I sat down under a huge tree along the pathway of the park, I began texting my contacts in my phonebook. There was a high level of excitement as I started texting. It has been more than two months now since the last time I reloaded my cellular phone. After exhausting my fingers sending messages to all the Globe and TM subscribers in my phonebook, I anticipated a lot of replies—I was gone for a long time, so I think that gives justice to my anticipation. But what’s next to happen is quite the contrary. To my frustration, I only received five responses, and what’s more frustrating is that three of those persons only responded a bold “Hu u?” Ouch! That must have been painful and insulting right?

After that, I didn’t bother reintroducing myself to them. I realized that people interpreted my long absence differently. They thought I changed my sim card, or maybe they thought I never existed at all. Whatever there reasons maybe, I was hurt.

I checked the time. I still have to wait for 20 more minutes. That’s when I put my cellphone inside my pocket and pinned my sight to a group of youngsters chatting from afar. At first I thought they were only playing, but staring closely at them, I realized that these children ain’t playing. In just a wink of an eye, one of the children wearing a school uniform started running. Then, the rest of the group chased him. When the latter cornered the former, they encircled the poor child in uniform. From my vantage point, I could easily guess that the child in uniform is the youngest among them. Despite his height disadvantage, the poor child abruptly removed his bag and clenched his fists. Yes, he’s aware of the next scene and hell yeah, he is prepared for it.

He picked one opponent. But just when he’s about to release his valiant punch, his bigger opponent’s kick landed on his stomach first. It ended the poor child’s valor. He knelt on the grass as he found difficulty to gasp for air to breathe. The kick badly hurt him and he’s down on his knees weeping now. The poor child’s opponent immediately ran to shun revenge—if there’s any. The rest of the little goons also flew away. The poor child is alone now. There were many college students along the area but nobody dared help him. But after a couple of minutes, the child recovered and started looking for his playmates despite what they did to him.

Before I was able to observe what’s next for the poor child, a group of athletes jogging at the park grabbed my attention. It was an ordinary exercise at first glance, but if you nail your sight, it wasn’t. They were led by their coach. I didn’t know how many times they’re planning to jog the entire park, all I’m seeing is that the poor coach is not aware that some of his students were deceiving him. While their coach is religiously enjoying the jog, some of his students at the back were taking the short cut so they could finish one turn faster. None from the group noticed this scheme until their third round. When one of the joggers turned his head, alas, the scheme was revealed before his very eyes. He immediately shouted to his coach and reported his co-members' cunning act. And that’s when the coach witnessed his three students taking the short cut. Being outsmarted by his students, the angry coach immediately asked the three students to give him push-ups. After that, the rest of the students laughed over what happened to their co-athletes who can’t move a muscle after serving their punishment. The coach also laughed for he can’t believe he was outsmarted by his students. Then, they continued jogging but this time, the coach chose to be the last person so he could man his students properly.

Seeing those spontaneous incidents, I can’t help but grin after. I missed seeing those simplicities of life. It woke me up from the reality that life is as simple as how the children change moods, or even as simple as how the coach had easily forgiven his students who deceived him. It also introduced me the realization that I have been soaking myself in various works lately that I even forgot how to smile truly—I mean without hiding anything.

I was mad a while ago because I thought I was forgotten by a lot of people whom I considered important, but suddenly I realized I was just overreacting. Yes, I was just overreacting. Sometimes, we just have this tendency to treat our lives too hard only to find out that we are just overreacting. And now I’m thankful that I spent that thirty minutes of my time at the park for it led me to this realization-that life is simple. It’s only us who are making it complicated.

Sometimes, believing that we are not the shallow type of person, we dig deeper for the things that can make us happy. As a result, we overlook those simple things which if we examine closely; these are our real source of happiness. It’s just a matter of laughing over corny jokes or being contented over simple life that we see the beauty of life. It may be shallow but it’s genuine. Of course I know that for I just figured it out.

At six o’clock, I found myself sitting again, not at the park but now at the burger stand while chatting with my sister. I also found myself laughing out loud as I tell to my sister the story of how I spent the happiest thirty minutes of my life at the park. And that’s how this simple story ends.

Due to the continuous road construction in practically all the major roads in the city, I decided to move to a place at least nearer to my school so I could easily hitch a ride especially that I have early morning classes.

After my classes, I normally go to the publication’s office for my other responsibilities. Then, when I’m free, I always see to it that I could go home to rest for a while. But before I rest, I watch television programs first. It's nice to be entertained with your favorite channels or movies even if you're just alone in the house.

In the United States for example, they have Direct TV service which offers most channels in High Definition (HD). Now you can watch your favorite movies in HD or even your favorite sports, also in HD. They have more than 100 channels in HD so it's surely a must have for you.

You also need not to worry if you want to avail of their services because directv service is available in many states in the US. They have Direct TV in CA, Direct TV in NY, Direct TV in TX, and Direct TV in FL, depending on what state you belong. With the advent of these technologies, I think it's time now for us to splurge on this.

And here comes another deadline I have to beat. We have to pass our project for our Econ 131 class tomorrow. It was actually given a week ago, but like what I usually do, I didn’t started doing the project until this very hour. And instead of concentrating and focusing to finish it so I could still rest and study for my quiz tomorrow, here I am procrastinating. I even had the guts to splurge my time surfing the net and, obviously, inserted posting this blog.

But like I said, this is me. Imagine, there are only few hours left before the deadline and I haven’t even finished one yet. I have never studied for my quiz to boot. I don’t think a graduating student should act like this. But hey, I’m doing it!

I don’t think I’m loving it though. So maybe before this drowsiness I’m feeling tempts me to go to bed, I’d better stop this stupidity and finish what needs to be done. But who knows, this intermission maybe is just one way of conditioning my mind to be on my working mode. Duh! I can’t even convince myself with this reasoning. Hahaha…

So for my own benefit, I will go on with my work now. I just wanted to make a new entry, and since I already have one, I should better be going. Bye everyone. I’m going back to work before we change date.

He I go again. Succumbing to one of my negative traits—laziness. A week has passed since my last post and I didn’t even bother myself posting another albeit my spare time. And what’s even funnier is that I created another blog when I can’t even maintain one. Ensued, my other site is hanging and futile hitherto.

The same thing is true with my other responsibilities at home and in school most especially—they are either untouched or half done. And these are all courtesy of my laziness. Thanks to you. Haiz, when well I ever fight this trait?

Well I am not surprised really, this is me. No matter how I try to avoid this negative trait, I end up doing the same thing all over again. Maybe the old cliché is really true that “You can build a shack overnight, but to make a house that can withstand the fury of a cyclone or other calamities, it takes time.” Yeah, maybe fighting this laziness is going to be a long time struggle for me.

I think I’m just one of those persons who think they know and can do everything but we all end up frustrated at the end knowing we’re wrong. It’s so stupid of me to think I can do more when in fact I am just doing less of what I’m suppose to do. This is one severe spell cast before me and I’m caught off guard—helpless.

I am not a die hard fan of him for his generation was earlier than mine. Nevertheless, as a music lover, I was able to listen to some of his music and liked it. And I believe a lot of bloggers were also familiar with his songs especially that his “Thriller” album is considered the best selling album of all time.

Jackson’s time maybe over but I believe his music is not and will never be over. It will always linger in the course of music industry. I don’t have much to say for this music genius but I just like to extend my sincere condolences to his bereaved family. Michael Jackson, you will always be remembered in our hearts. And let me say “Job well done!”

P.S.: isang pagkilala lamang po sa nag-iisang Michael Jackson...at kagaya ng marami, nakikiramay din po...

Aside from writing, one of things I like doing is cooking. But, though I can cook a few dishes, I find it more comfortable to just eat what my mom has prepared for us. Most of the time, my mother cooks our food and the only thing I can do to help is to unplug the rice cooker when she's done.

There's nothing more satisfying for me than waking up in the morning with a cup of coffee at hand. Of course, that usually goes with a toasted garlic bread as I listen to the early morning news - a routine I always look forward whenever I'm at home.

To quench our thirst in the afternoon, my cousin would rather have our favorite fruit shake instead of splurging on soft drinks. And in the evening, a glass of wine before going to bed always wraps our day.

But nowadays, we seldom do the same thing because of our respective work. Some of my cousins now have their own family while others moved to far places. On the other hand, I make myself busy with my work in our school publication. Anyway, I still have my family to spend my quality time with.

Bilang isang mamamayang Pilipino
Nakikiisa ako sa pagdiriwang
Ng ating ika-isandaan at labing isang taong
Anibersaryo ng kalayaan

Kalayaang matapang na ipinaglaban
Ng sampu ng ating mga bayani
Silang ating pinagkakautangan
Ng kalayaang ngayon ay tinatamasa

Subalit sa paglipas ng panahon
Matapos ang labing isang dekada
Ano na ang kinahinatnan
Ng kanilang ipinaglaban?

Nasaan na nga ba tayo ngayon?
Ang iba'y inaabuso ang taglay na kalayaan
Mayroon namang tila walang silbi ang kalayaan
Na hanggang ngayoy naninirahan pa rin sa dilim

Lumabas at pagmasdan ang lansangan?
Dito sa amin payapa naman
Tila walang dapat ipagsaya
Lahat may sariling mundo

Napansin kong marami ang ngayoy nakangiti
Marahil natutuwa dahil walang pasok sa opisina
O kaya naman ay doble ang sahod
Ang iba naman di alam kung bakit walang pasok

Naway kahit isang araw lamang kaibigan
Gumawa ng bagay na makabayan
Kahit paglalagay lamang ng munti nating watawat
At namnamin ang kahulugan ng ating kalayaan

Una nang ideneklara ng Commission on Higher Education (CHED) na suspendido na muna ang pasukan sa kolehiyo ngayong linggo dahil sa umanoy banta ng A (H1N1). Ibig sabihin, June 15 pa talaga magbubukas ang klase para sa college students (sana naman hindi na nila isususpend for the second time kasi baka ma-extend na naman ang pasukan at pati graduation maging May na rin. Haiz, wag mo naman ipahintulot Lord please.)

Anyway, kahit na meron na ngang announcement ang CHED, I decided na pumunta pa rin sa eskwelahan to see for myself. Akalain mong hindi ininda ng mga katulad kong mag-aaral ang deklarasyon ng CHED. Siksikan pa rin sa gate ng university sa sobrang dami ng estudyanteng pumasok sa mismong araw. At least confident naman akong pumasok sa school kahit walang pasok kasi di lang naman ako ang matigas ang ulo. Marami kami kaya ang saya-saya.

Alas siete ng umaga ang first subject ko pero dumating ako ng alas siete y medya. Syempre feeling ko naman walang guro na magpapakita so ok lang na late muna sa ngayon. At gaya ng inaasahan, wala ni anino ng titser namin. Pero andun ang ilan sa mga klasmeyts ko. Para naman super tagal naming di nagkita at sobra kung magkamustahan. Oo nga't bakasyon. Eh ano ngayon, isang buwan din naman kaming magkasama sa iisang bahay for our internship. So ayon, matapos ang kamustahan at plastikan, haha, nagdesisyon kaming pagtripan ang mga bagong mukha sa unibersidad namin.

Magtanong kaba naman kung nasaan ang College of Arts and Sciences na building eh andun na mismo kami sa gusali. In fairness, maayos naman kaming sinagot ng mga inosenteng freshmen na ang CAS building pala ay ang mismong gusaling kinatatayuan namin. "Really? Thank you miss ha..." may mga ganun pang drama after mambiktima.

Patuloy kaming naglakad-lakad at habang padaan-daan lang kami sa mga lounges, eto naman ang trip namin. "Miss asa dapit ng TBA nga room?" (Miss san ba dito yung TBA na room?) o ayan with free translation pa yan ha. Todo pigil naman ang mga tinanong namin na magpigil sa pagtawa at sinagot kami ng maayos. "To be arranged paman ng TBA sir." (To be arranged pa po yung TBA sir). Meaning wala pa raw silid para dito.

"Di ba andun yung mga kursong Accountancy at Business Administration?" tanong ko ulit in our dialect.

Baka CBA po yung ibig nyong sabihin hindi TBA? sagot nya.

"Ha? Eh ano ba yung CBA miss tsaka how does it differ sa TBA?" tanga-tangahan ko namang tinuran sa kanya.

"College of Business and Accountancy po kasi yung CBA kaya andun yung sinasabi nyong mga kurso habang yung TBA naman eh to be arranged pa ang ibig sabihin." sagot niya na halatang nakukulitan na kasi kanina pa panay ang tingin sa kasama niya na atat na atat ng umalis pero di naman ako maiwan kasi nga "wala pa daw kasi akong alam".

Sa huli naman eh tinuro nya sa akin kung san yung CBA. Salamat miss. Kung nagbabasa ka ng post na to, sorry na talaga. Eh apat na taon na ako sa unibersidad na ito kaya alam ko lahat ng pasikot-sikot. Trip lang talaga namin kaya pasensya na.

Marami-rami din ang nabiktima namin bago kami nakaramdam ng gutom. Hahaha. Mukhang nakarma ang mga gago. So we decided to go out na nga sa school at nang makakain.

Pagdating namin ng gate, anak ng tipaklong, kumpulan na naman ang mga students kasi nga may instruction daw na di na muna palalabasin ang mga mag-aaral. Huh? Baket kaya? Eh unang una, wala namang pasok ngayon!? Hay na bad trip tuloy kami.

Sa ngayon ay kasalukuyan pa naming inaalam...oopps wait a minute...kapapasok lang na balita...pinahintulutan na umanong lumabas ang mga students. Hehe